My story continues…

My husband tells me that I’m beautiful and sexy every day. My husband cant keep his hands off me, every day. My husband wants my body every day. Who complains about that? Me! Why? Because after 23 years, my honeymoon is over but he believes the show must go on.

I understand that there are women who crave that attention from their partners, and I’d happily share mine with you. I just don’t want it. I don’t know if anyone else feels the same, but this unwanted physical contact is bothering me. I should want it. I give in to it. Hell, I can enjoy it too. But, there is something missing. Men, partners, can hold on to us like we are their security blanket. Women, women can let go and move on so easily. I’m struggling every day to understand that psychological difference.

Thanks for joining me!

Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton

Today, my story begins. I needed an outlet to share thoughts and experiences and seek opinions, wanted or not.

The most important role of my life is being mom. Most mothers out there know it’s a full time job with a lot of hard work and little reward. If the kids are fed, clothed, alive and doing well, you’re killing it, A+.

The second most important role is being a provider. If your working full time, volunteering or making money for your family to operate day to day, your providing, A+.

The 3rd important role is being the wife or partner your partner needs you to be. This part is where relationships are hairy, and generally need manicuring, often. This is where I get a B-.

The honeymoon stage ended for me around the birth of my second child. I was married young, and pregnant. My husband was my first love. I dated in high school but he was the one I kept coming back to. It was an all-consuming relationship my parents thought to be unhealthy. I thought there was no other way to live without him and here we are, 23 years later. We’ve had lots of ups and downs and survived but there’s a new problem I cant solve. Me.

I will eventually dive into the history of our story that brings us to the present, but for today, I need to stress out on this topic of Me. Why do I feel smothered by affection? Why do I not want to be touched intimately? Why has sex become a chore? What is wrong with this mommy?

Maybe you can help me out, maybe no one can help me. We shall see.

MP